


The tide takes (but sometimes it gives)

by stereden



Series: Stereden's One Piece AU's [2]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Accidental Time Travel, Competent!Buggy, Feels, Gen, Hugs, Sporadic Updates, the kids are not alright (but they will be), the odd punch or two, to be fair Roger himself admitted that he deserved it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24369472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stereden/pseuds/stereden
Summary: "I told you that cave was freaky! I told you! But nooooo, you couldn't listen to the guy with oversensitive Observation Haki, you had to check it out, didn't you? You just had to! You're not even a D, I fucking tracked down your birth records and checked just to be damn sure, why are you like this?" Someone is screeching, loudly, from the direction the flash of light is coming from.Someone whose Haki is so tightly reigned it that Roger can't feel it at all, and his eyes are still seeing spots, which doesn't help."Maaa, it's not like I could possibly have known this would happen," a second voice points out reasonably. Their Haki at least is palpable, and very strong - definitely a hint of conqueror's there - but for all that it's strangely familiar, Roger can't quite place it."It's fucking Laugh Tale you red headed moron! And your fucking brat was there! And he's a freaking D! Of fucking course something weird was going to happen! What did you expect?"
Relationships: Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks & Buggy, Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks & Gol D. Roger, Buggy & Gol D. Roger, Gol D. Roger & Roger Pirates
Series: Stereden's One Piece AU's [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708903
Comments: 153
Kudos: 980





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! 
> 
> I hope you and your loved ones are as well as can be given the current situation <3
> 
> Here's another of my WIP to distract you from what's going on - it was SUPPOSED to be a one-shot, but of course it decided to grow bigger and bigger and bigger xD
> 
> So have a little time-travel AU, with Adult!Shanks&Buggy showing up on the Oro Jackson shortly after Laugh Tale and surprising the hell out of their crew, and confusing their younger selves to no end
> 
> Chapter warnings: FEELS (it's me, so that's a given by now), ANGST (same comment, though in lower quantities than my usual), HUGS, one very Done TM Buggy, one very worried Gol D. Roger, a very wary Rayleigh, a very confused crew, two very confused boys, two very Tired TM older boys, Roger getting punched, twice (he deserves it though)
> 
> As mentioned above, this is an old WIP that isn't very active. This means that updates will be sporadic and depend on when my muse decides to cooperate - my main focus is and will remain We Still Stand Proud.
> 
> I'll also be posting some of my other old WIP's in the coming weeks to break off the monotony of this quarantine, so... keep an eye on this series I guess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I hope you and your loved ones are as well as can be given the current situation <3
> 
> Here's another of my WIP to distract you from what's going on - it was SUPPOSED to be a one-shot, but of course it decided to grow bigger and bigger and bigger xD
> 
> So have a little time-travel AU, with Adult!Shanks&Buggy showing up on the Oro Jackson shortly after Laugh Tale and surprising the hell out of their crew, and confusing their younger selves to no end
> 
> Chapter warnings: FEELS (it's me, so that's a given by now), ANGST (same comment, though in lower quantities than my usual), HUGS, one very Done TM Buggy, one very worried Gol D. Roger, a very wary Rayleigh, a very confused crew, two very confused boys, two very Tired TM older boys, Roger getting punched, twice (he deserves it though)
> 
> As mentioned above, this is an old WIP that isn't very active. This means that updates will be sporadic and depend on when my muse decides to cooperate - my main focus is and will remain We Still Stand Proud.
> 
> I'll also be posting some of my other old WIP's in the coming weeks to break off the monotony of this quarantine, so... keep an eye on this series I guess?

Roger watches from the upper deck as his crew celebrates beneath him. They've done it. They've reached Laugh Tale, the island at the end of the world. They've found Joy Boy's treasure, found out the truth of what he left behind, and they are  _ still _ laughing.

"Captain?"

He turns around to see Buggy hovering awkwardly behind him.

"Are you coming?"

The boy is still paler than Roger would like, and had been more shaken that he had been willing to admit by what they've learned on Laugh Tale. Not that he's been able to hide it from him - Roger knows the kid too well. Same with Shanks, who's been able to hide it slightly better but is just as unsettled.

Crocus had torn him a new one for smuggling the apprentices on Laugh Tale despite Buggy's illness, but Roger couldn't  _ not _ take them with him. They've been his nakama longer than Crocus has, have put up with him and his antics for half their lives now. They’ve been his since they tried to steal his sword, since he decided to take them on as his apprentices, and they haven’t left his side since. They've  _ earned _ this, earned the right to step foot on the last island at the end of the world, to lay eye on Joy Boy's treasure.

But… they're young, still, so very young. Not quite twelve years old, and Roger forgets, sometimes, what that means. Feels guilty, too, for what he's put them through, the dangers he's put them in. They've never so much as hinted that they wanted to be anywhere else, though, even when he asked, and that counts for something, but… they're still  _ young. _

They still need help. Help and comfort and safety, and he tries, he tries as best as he can, but something tells him it's not going to be enough.

He already knows that he won't get to see the kind of people they will grow into.

It's the only thing he will regret of this life. They might not be the children of his blood, but Buggy and Shanks are  _ his _ , his children in all the ways that matter, and he loves them, loves them so much he could  _ burst  _ sometimes, and it  _ hurts _ , to know that he has hurt them, that he’s still hurting them, that he’ll hurt them even more by dying, but there’s nothing he can do about it. 

Nothing except enjoy the time he has left with them, nothing except making sure that they’ll be taken care of once he’s gone.

Roger chuckles softly and walks over to Buggy, throwing an arm around his shoulders and drawing him close in a side-hug.

"Of course I am!" He laughs as he steers them towards the stairs. "Can't let you guys have all the fun without me, can I?"

* * *

They're halfway down the stairs when there's a flash of light, blinding in its intensity, right in the middle of the main deck.

Right in the middle of his  _ crew, _ and Roger's sword is out of her scabbard before he even thinks about it, Buggy pushed back behind him even as he blinks furiously, focusing his Haki as his eyesight fails him.

"I  _ told you _ that cave was freaky! I  _ told you! _ But nooooo, you couldn't listen to the guy with oversensitive Observation Haki, you had to check it out, didn't you? You just  _ had _ to! You're not even a D, I fucking tracked down your  _ birth records _ and  _ checked _ just to be damn sure, why are you like this?" Someone is screeching,  _ loudly,  _ from the direction the flash of light is coming from.

Someone whose Haki is so tightly reigned it that Roger can't feel it  _ at all, _ and his eyes are still seeing spots, which doesn't help.

"Maaa, it's not like I could possibly have known this would happen," a second voice points out reasonably.  _ Their  _ Haki at least is palpable, and very strong - definitely a hint of conqueror's there - but for all that it's strangely _ familiar, _ Roger can't quite place it.

"It's fucking  _ Laugh Tale _ you red headed moron! And your fucking brat was there! And  _ he's _ a freaking  _ D!  _ Of fucking course something weird was going to happen! What did you expect?" 

The first voice is becoming more hysterical by the second.

"Not  _ this, _ obviously," the second one muses, rather calm in comparison to their companion. "Did you notice…"

" _ Of fucking course I did, why do you think I'm freaking out you asshole!" _

* * *

The blacks spots are slowly dissipating, revealing two figures standing back to back in the middle of their party set up, close to the fire surrounded by Roger's nakama, all of whom have drawn their weapons and are pointing them at the newcomers.

They're tall, not as tall as Roger himself or Oden, but still taller than most, though their bulk is hard to estimate given their clothes. The one on the left is wearing a long coat and a captain's hat, and the one on the right has a dark cloak covering most of his body.

The fire makes it hard to distinguish colours, though.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing on my ship?" Roger asks, tone deceptively calm as he tightens his grip on his sword.

The two figures tense.

"Doesn't he…" the cloaked one - so he's the second speaker, then - starts, only to be cut off by the first one.

"I locked mine down as soon as we stepped into the fucking cave and yours went from volcano to fucking supernova, there's no wonder he's not recognising either of us," Long coat hisses.

* * *

Roger frowns. They talk as if he should be able to recognise them by their Haki alone, but he still can't feel Long Coat's and while Cloak's is familiar, he still can't recognise it. They haven’t requested permission to board his ship either, for all that they don’t look like they’re actually here to attack them. Ignorance of the Code, of the traditions and mores of a pirate's life? No, not when they both seem to have been out at sea for a long time, especially if they managed to reach Laugh Tale - and that’s another thing, because Roger has  _ just _ named the island this very morning, and only his crew witnessed the moment, so how is it these men know about it already?

Then there’s the fact that despite their intrusion, Oro doesn’t seem wary of them.  _ At all. _ In fact, his beloved ship feels rather… happy? Confused but happy?

What even is going on here?

* * *

"Aah." A pause. "So, punch first or hug first?" Cloak says lightly, causing most of Roger's crew to facefault.

That, however, seems to  _ somehow  _ get rid of Long Coat's hysteria, his whole demeanour suddenly changing to something much calmer.

"Heh," Long Coat chuckles, and there's something like choked back tears in his voice. "Is that even a  _ question?" _

Then, before anyone can react, Long Coat is  _ moving. _

Except, no, he's not, his body is still in the same place, but there's a fist headed straight for Roger's gut, and…

And Roger suddenly knows  _ exactly _ who these two are, and that shocks him enough that he doesn't even  _ try _ to avoid the hit. No wonder they never asked for permission to come aboard, no wonder Oro seems happy and confused - this ship is their home just as she is his.

There's a commotion as his nakama start yelling, get ready to retaliate, and Buggy tries to jump past him to attack the newcomers, but that won't do, that won't do at all, and Roger sends out a wave of Haki to get his men to  _ stand the fuck down, _ grabbing for Buggy as he does so. Well. For the  _ younger _ version of Buggy.

Thankfully, Roger manages to stop the boy as he uncurls from the pain of the punch. Damn but that was a strong one. And Haki-coated, too.

He's stupidly proud of that. 

* * *

"I probably deserved that, I think," he chuckles loudly, deliberately putting his sword back in her scabbard as another signal for his crew to stand down, something he reinforces with a second, smaller wave of Haki even as he ignores their startled questions. He walks down the last few steps, and his nakama reluctantly part to let him see their visitors.

"You think? You  _ think?!" _ His attacker snarls, stalking towards him, his companion right by his side. "You fucking  _ moron! _ I don't fucking care that this hasn't happened for you yet, you fucking deserved that fucking punch and more!"

As they get closer and closer, Roger is finally able to get a better look at them.

* * *

Red nose and blue hair twisted in a low ponytail beneath the hat, two blue lines over the eyes and crossbones going down his forehead to below his eyes, wiry muscles on a lean frame, some very familiar knives stuck in a teal sash, a red neckerchief tied around the neck.

_ Eyes full of steel and pain, eyes like those of war veterans who have seen too much and yet still carry on despite everything _ . 

_ Grief, radiating from every fiber of his body, grief and anger and hurt. _

Fiercely red hair and three scars over his eye, left arm missing - what the hell happened there and who does Roger need to kill to make sure it  _ doesn't? _ \- a white shirt with an open collar, one hell of a sword hanging at his side, a familiar sword belt hidden by a red sash.

_ A hardness in his demeanour that isn’t there yet, a tension that’s admirably hidden but Roger knows him too well not to notice. _

_ The same grief as his partner, and anger too, and hurt, barely tempered by age and experience. _

Damn, they really did grow up, didn't they? And here he had been thinking he wouldn't get a chance to see it happen.

(The way they're looking at him tells him he didn't, that they lost him a long time ago, but here they are, all grown up and Roger will forever be grateful that he got to see them like this at least once, even if he knows he won't get to see how they became this way.)

(What the  _ hell _ had happened to his kids?!)

* * *

"Do I get a hug now?" Roger asks, eyebrow raised, as they stop right in front of him.

They look at each other, the two of them still so very much in synch despite the years that have obviously passed for them, and then the redhead smiles, right before his fist collides with Roger's face, hard enough to bruise. There was a hint of Haki in that one, too, and Roger just  _ knows _ it'll leave a mark for the next couple of days.  _ Brat, _ he thinks fondly.

"Now you do," the brat in question has the gall to smile before he's suddenly squeezed between two adult versions of his brats.

Two adults versions of his brats who cling to him like they would to a life line, fingers trembling as they clench around the fabric of his coat, and he's pretty sure there are some wet patches forming on his shirt that weren't there a second ago.

_ What the hell had happened to his kids and who the fuck does he needs to kill to make them pay for it? _ he thinks furiously as he wraps his arms around them and holds them close, feeling their backs shake with silent sobs as he does so.

“Okaerinasai,” he whispers in their hair, and feels their arms tighten around him even more.  _ Welcome home. _

“Tadaima kaerimashita,” his blue haired brat chokes against his chest, his red haired one doing the same half a second later. “Tadaima, captain!”  _ We're home. _

* * *

"What the hell…?" Crocus mutters from behind them, only to get a foot to the face as the grown up version of Buggy shifts his head slightly to glare at the doctor, without letting go of Roger.

"You keep your mouth shut!" He hisses, his foot flying back to its rightful place. "You do  _ not  _ get to ruin this moment!"

There’s bitterness in Buggy’s voice, and no small amount of it, bitterness and pain and  _ betrayal, _ and Roger really, really wants to know just what the fuck happened in the future for this to be the case.

“ _ Not happened yet,” _ Shanks mutters in Roger’s chest, quiet enough to only be heard by Roger and Buggy.

“ _ Still doesn’t get to ruin the moment!” _ Buggy hisses back, and Roger feels more than sees Shanks’ reluctant nod of agreement.

“Captain?” Buggy - the younger version, the one that’s still hiding slightly behind him, speaks up hesitantly, and Roger can feel him look from the new arrivals to the younger version of Shanks in confusion and… fuck. Oversensitive observation Haki, how had he never noticed before now- Right. Fuck. “They… they’re… How…”

With great reluctance, the older version of Buggy forces himself to let go of Roger, somehow managing to appear perfectly composed by the time he takes a step back, older Shanks by his side.

(His arms suddenly feel  _ empty _ and he does not like the feeling  _ at all.) _

“Because Shanks is an idiot who  _ still _ hasn’t learnt to listen to us when we say we have a bad feeling about things, kiddo,” Older Buggy says bluntly,  _ finally _ letting go of the tight grip he has on his Haki, allowing Roger to get a feel for how much his youngest protégé changed over the year.

The difference isn’t as stark as with Shanks - Buggy hadn’t been kidding when he had said that the redhead had gone from volcano to supernova. Roger can recognise it now that he  _ knows _ it’s Shanks, but the red-head’s Haki had changed, a  _ lot. _ The potential had always been there, of course,  _ is _ still there in the younger, strawhat-wearing version, but the sheer magnitude of the change is still  _ breathtaking _ \- but it’s definitely there.

There’s been growth, of course, and Roger would bet everything he owns that Buggy’s already admirable range with Observation has extended  _ considerably _ \- and how had he  _ not _ noticed that the kid’s Observation Haki was off the charts, seriously? He was going to be beating himself up over that for  _ months, _ Buggy needs to learn how to shield and _ fast, _ and fuck but this is confusing, isn’t it, having two of each? But there’s more, of course there’s more than that, a wealth of  _ experience _ and  _ survival _ and  _ life _ and  _ growth, _ that Roger would be unable to describe but can still  _ feel. _

“You… you’re me?” Younger Buggy squawks. “But… that’s impossible!”

“I’m you,” Older Buggy nods with a tired smile, rubbing his temple in a way that hints at one hell of a headache. Good to know that his tells had stayed the same over the years. “With about twenty-six more years of trauma. And you just left fucking  _ Laugh Tale,  _ kid, don’t talk to me about anything being impossible when you survived the fucking New World.”

“Bug,” Older Shanks groans. “Do you have to put it like that?”

“I refuse to add myself to the list of useless adults we've had to deal with over the years, so yes, I have to,” Older Buggy snaps back, glaring at the other man.

“None of that has happened yet.”

“Do I look like I give a flying fuck? _Do I?_ We don’t remember this happening, which means we’ve created a secondary timeline just by being here, which means we  _ can _ change things, and I refuse to force anyone, but especially  _ us, _ to go through all that bullshit again. Of course, it might also be that this  _ is _ actually our past, and that something will make us forget all about this after we leave, but if there's even the  _ slightest  _ chance of making things better, or at the very least not so catastrophically shitty as what we went through, I  _ will  _ take it and fuck keeping the past intact!”

* * *

It’s easy, sometimes, to forget just how  _ smart _ Buggy actually is. His apprentice always makes an effort to downplay it, hating it when he gets teased for being a nerd, but if there’s one thing Buggy likes  more than treasure, it’s  _ learning. _ And from the way this older version of him is talking, that’s something that hasn’t changed over the years.

His younger version looks like he's itching for a notebook and a pencil to take notes. It's absolutely  _ adorable. _

“Ahem,” Roger clears his throat, getting his apprentices attention - all four of them, younger Shanks having escaped Scopper’s attempts to keep him away and now standing by younger Buggy’s side, looking at the older versions of themselves with unabashed curiosity. “I think we would all like an explanation of what just happened, one that is a bit longer than two sentences, so let’s all sit down and have a drink.”

Rayleigh is looking at him like he’s just grown a second head, but Roger ignores him with the ease of long practice.

“Oh hell yes, I  _ definitely  _ need a drink,” Older Buggy mutters, heading straight for the booze and grabbing two bottles out of the cooler, throwing one of them back behind him without looking.

Older Shanks catches it effortlessly, allowing Roger to see the label. Buggy had gone straight for the strongest alcohol, the one Neptune had given them before they left Fishman Island. Did the future give his apprentices iron livers as well?

Hesitantly, and with more than one confused glance in his direction, his nakama settle down again, though most of them keep their weapons close at hand. Roger ignores them, and plops himself down in between his grown-up kids, gesturing for the younger version to sit close by as well.

He pointedly says nothing when both of the newcomers lean ever-so-slightly into him, making sure there’s at least one part of their body touching him at all time.

He's certainly not going to begrudge his boys this, not when they still look at him with fresh grief in their eyes even though it has to have been  _ years, _ if not  _ decades _ since his death.

Rayleigh sighs and scoots closer, grabbing a notebook and a pen from somewhere as he does, and the rest of the crew all turn expectant looks to the newcomers… who ignore them, too busy toasting each other and downing half their bottles in one go, making Roger’s eyebrows rise to his hairline. That drink has one hell of a kick, he knows from experience, and yet his kids are chugging it down without blinking.

Iron livers, definitely.

* * *

“Short explanation?” Older Buggy says, putting his bottle down in front of him, looking straight at Roger. “Twenty-six years from now, or thereabouts, the next Pirate King - that's what they'll call you, once you get back to more travelled waters - reaches Laugh Tale - though everyone is calling it Raftel by them, just like most of them are calling you  _ Gold _ Roger, because people are  _ morons _ \- and we were there to see it happen, because the brat is Shanks’ protégé and the idiot conned me into making the trip one more time.”

“C’mon Bug, you know you would have regretted it if you hadn’t come,” Older Shanks needles him. "And we did promise all the way back then that we would go by ourselves one day, with our own ship!"

“I  _ really _ wouldn’t have. I should just have stayed in my  _ sane _ part of the Blues, but instead you dragged me all the way through Paradise and the New World,  _ again!” _ Older Buggy complains in what seems to be a long-standing argument, making Roger chuckle slightly. Some things, it seems, never change, and Buggy being Shanks' despairing voice of reason is one of those. “Anyway, the brat arrives, he and his crew find out everything, he sees Joy Boy’s messages, and then proves that he’s just as much of a D. as you are by laughing that dumb laugh of his. He tries to give Shanks the strawhat that Shanks gave him fifteen years ago back, Shanks tells him to keep it, there’s a party, we get very, very drunk, we sleep a couple of hours and then Shanks wakes me up because he wants to go and  _ explore _ despite our respective hangovers, and he drags me halfway across the island and then into this weird cave, even though I kept telling him something was off about the whole thing!” Buggy glares at Shanks. “I don’t give a fuck that you’re a fucking Yonko, one day I’m not going to be there to drag your ass out of trouble and you’re going to get yourself  _ killed  _ sticking your nose in something you really shouldn't! How Benn puts up with you I really don’t know!”

“Benn loves me,” Shanks waves Buggy’s protests away, even as the rest of the crew gapes at them. A  _ Yonko? _ Shanks had become a  _ Yonko? _

“Your first mate has the patience of a saint and even he is going to kick your ass once we get back!”

Damn! Roger had always known his kid had potential, but to stand equal to equal with the likes of Edward, Kaido and Linlin?

But Buggy doesn't give them time to ask questions.

"So there we are, in this weird ass cave on fucking Laugh Tale of all places, and the idiot over here decides that the smart thing to do is to touch the weird carvings on the walls despite my Observation Haki  _ screaming _ that they're not remotely normal. I grab him to try and stop him, there's a bright flash of light and suddenly we're back on the Oro Jackson, twenty-six or so years in the past," he finishes with an aggravated sigh. "I'm just hoping that we'll find a way back soon, before anyone notices that we've disappeared, or that no time will have passed by the time we make it back, or we'll have one hell of a mess to deal with."

Older Shanks winces.

"Ah. Yes. That could be… problematic."

Buggy snorts.

"'Problematic', he says. Between your crazy ass crew, Mugiwara and his bullshit  _ and _ his crazy ass crew, and my crew, the entire Grand Line will be on  _ fire _ by the time we get back."

"You each have your own crews?" Roger asks, deliberately pushing aside the more concerning matters for when he has a chance to speak with them alone. Their younger counterparts look disturbed enough as it is. Besides, this is  _ interesting! _ Especially since it seems like they eventually went their separate way over the years, though they’re obviously still just as close, if not more, as the two teenagers at his feet. "What are they like? Are you a Yonko as well, Buggy?"

That somehow gets a roar of laughter out of both of them, Buggy throwing his head back even as Shanks falls against Roger's side, laughing too much to keep his balance.

"Are you kidding? Me? Hell no!" Buggy laughs much to his younger self's confusion. "I don't have a death wish, thank you very much! I leave that kind of bullshit to Shanks and his crazies! No, I'm something even better than a Yonko!"

"What do you mean?" Younger Buggy asks, frowning.

"The rare pirate with both common sense and survival instinct," the older version says dryly, but there's something… defensive about his posture, like he's expecting mockery or derision, and that… that's worrying. "We're a rare breed, for sure, but at least we're a long-living one! I've got my nakama, I've got my ship, and we stay in East Blue and under the radar and that's how I like it. Treasures aplenty, little risk, and the best place to make Monkey D Fucking Garp's life  _ hell _ without him knowing I'm behind it."

* * *

His younger self looks… disappointed by that, and the older version is tense, very carefully not looking at any of their other nakama.

Hasn't looked at any of them save Roger and the younger Shanks and Buggy since he arrived on the Oro, in fact, and Roger doesn't know what happened, why Buggy feels the need to protect himself from the others, but he gets the feeling he  _ really _ won't like what he's going to find out about the future.

And he's going to find out. Neither of his boys have  _ ever _ been able to keep a secret from him, and he gets the feeling that this hasn't changed.

* * *

"Don't listen to him, Captain," Shanks chuckles, still leaning against Roger's side. "Bug's got a network spanning all of the first side of the Grand Line, including East and South Blue, providing him with Intel and smuggling goods both, plus a  _ lot _ of 'small-time' pirates and allies who are easily overlooked or underestimated by the marines that are willing and ready to help him  _ inconvenience _ whoever he decides deserves it. It's awesome! And his crew is nothing to scoff at either! You'd like them, they're good people. He's even got a  _ lion, _ Captain!"

"We do?" Younger Buggy's eyes are wide. "Is it true? Do I really have a lion?"

"Richie's not a pet, he's one of my oldest nakama," Older Buggy corrects his younger self, somewhat self consciously. "He and Mohji - that's my first mate - were the first to join my crew."

"I still can't get over the fact that  _ Richie _ is next in line should anything happen to you," Shanks laughs, and Roger is not  _ blind, _ he's noticed that Shanks had  _ deliberately _ pointed out just how influential Buggy had become, before anyone could potentially comment on how… lackluster his career might seem, and damn it, that means that  _ both _ his boys are wary of their former nakama's reactions to the kind of pirate Buggy has become.

Are wary of their former nakama,  _ period, _ if their body language is anything to go by. It’s not obvious, and Roger is pretty sure most of the crew haven’t quite picked up on it yet, but he knows them too well not to notice.

Roger himself isn't really surprised to hear that Buggy has taken to staying in East Blue. He's known for a long time now that his youngest has no love for the New World, that he loves sailing and that he loves the sea but that he has no love for the dangers of the Shin Sekai, for the monsters and adventures that Roger seeks each and every day. He stays because he loves the crew and he loves Shanks and he loves Roger and he loves the Oro Jackson, but Roger knows that Buggy is  _ scared _ more often than not, and it pains him, to know that this boy he has claimed as his own is forcing himself to endure this because of him.

He had tried toning it down, had tried reigning himself in, but he cannot resist the call of adventure, cannot deny the siren song of danger. 

They've talked about it, Buggy and him, and Roger had offered to find him somewhere safer to stay, with one of their allies, with Tom in Water 7 maybe or with the Minks, but Buggy would have none of it. So Roger had made sure Buggy had safe spaces inside the ship, that he knew his door was always open, had made sure that Buggy knew he never  _ had to _ fight if he didn't want to, and it's worked so far, with some hiccups along the way.

(He's never going to forgive himself for dragging Buggy and Shanks through Edd War. He had let his anger about Shiki trying to follow in Rock's footsteps blind him to the fact that he had  _ children _ on his ship, and that never should have happened.)

(The kids had slept in his cabin for an entire  _ month _ after that, and Roger had held them tightly more nights than not as they were wracked by nightmares and panic attacks. Had whispered apologies in blue and red hair, had held them close and tried not to think about how close he had come to losing them.)

But it’s obvious that something went wrong in the future, and that cannot be allowed to happen. If Buggy is right about this being a secondary timeline, and he probably is, then it won’t change anything for the older versions, but… There’s no way Roger is going to let whatever happened to them in the future happen to the two younger versions that still sail with him.

He  _ really  _ needs to have a talk with them. Alone, since he gets the feeling that this isn’t something they’ll talk about where the others can hear.

But for now he'll play along, allow the boys to change the subject.

* * *

"Shouldn't your first mate be in charge if that happens?" He asks, and the way Buggy's eyes light up when he talks about his crew at least reassures him that he's found himself good people to surround himself with.

"It  _ should,  _ but they took a vote the first time it happened, because Mohji refuses to be captain, even acting captain. He's fine being first mate, but that's all the authority he wants," he explains. "Cabaji didn't want it either, and  _ somehow _ it turned into a vote and Richie won out on account on no one else wanting to be saddled with my job," he rolls his eyes, and ignores Shanks protest that “ _ It’s more like they love you so much that none of them wants to replace you, Bug!” _ . "At least that's how it was explained to me after the  _ clusterfuck _ that was the Summit War."

They both wince when Buggy says that, but neither elaborates, and Roger decides to pursue a safer matter, resolving to find out what that had been about later.

(None of the others have dared to say anything yet, except the apprentices, and Roger knows they're not blind to the tension between them and the newcomers even if none of them have a clue what happened there, Roger included. So they're letting him talk, hoping that the future versions of their cabin boys will let something slip.)

"And what has Garp done to earn your ire?" He asks lightly, wondering what his old frenemy had been up to during those twenty-five years.

It is, apparently, the wrong thing to ask, because Shanks' conqueror flashes briefly in anger, and Buggy's face closes off completely.

"Oh, nothing much," Shanks says, voice eerily calm. "He's just been a  _ terrible _ guardian to the children under his care, caused the death of a couple of people we were quite fond of and oh, yes, he threw Buggy into fucking  _ Impel Down. _ And we're not allowed to kill him because Luffy would cry and also Yadomaru called dibs, the  _ proper way, _ and we don't have a death wish."

* * *

W.h.A.t.

* * *

Roger's own Haki flares as he grabs both versions of his youngest into a bear hug. The not quite twelve years old yet version of Buggy is deathly pale and shaking, clinging to Roger's arm with a death grip, and he can feel the fury of the rest of the crew as well.

" _ Impel Down?!" _

"Shanks' people got me out," Future Buggy tries to reassure him, patting his back, which would have been more successful if he wasn't shaking as well, just more subtly. "And I wasn't in the lower levels. It was  _ years ago, _ I'm fine, Captain!"

He's very much  _ not, _ Roger can both see it and feel it, and he refuses to relinquish his hold. Not that the other is trying very hard to get out of it.

"What did we do?" Younger Buggy asks, biting his lower lip as Younger Shanks burrows under Roger's arm to join the hug, wrapping an arm around the blue haired boy. "You said I… you… we stayed mostly under the radar, so why did he put us in… There?"

Shanks sighs, reaching over to gently ruffle younger Buggy's hat.

"Because Buggy was doing me a favour and Garp is an asshole, that's why. See, on top of his network and treasure hunting, Buggy's also become the much needed wake up call for many rookies in East Blue, challenging them and making sure they know what they're signing up for, while also making sure that the wrong sort of pirates is put down before they can do too much damage. He can't do it for  _ every _ crew, of course, East Blue's too big, but he does manage to get most of them, and I asked him to keep an eye out for Luffy, the kid I'd given this to," he gently taps the brim of Roger's old strawhat where it's resting on his counterpart's head. "Because much as I love the brat and truly did believe, even back then, that he had what it takes to become the next Pirate King, Luffy was also a dumb little kid who had  _ no fucking idea _ what he was in for. He’s  _ still _ a dumb brat most of the time, honestly, even now, but at least he’s not so fucking naive anymore. So Buggy and his men roughed him up a bit, made him realise he still had a fuck ton of shit to learn, and they went their separate ways, and that  _ should _ have been it. Except…"

"Except that Shanks' brat's full name is  _ Monkey  _ D. Luffy, that Garp is an asshole who has never forgiven Shanks for putting the pirate dream into his grandson's head and  _ still  _ believes the brat would make a fine Marine, despite said brat having just earned himself the title of Pirate King, and decided to take offense to me giving the kid a much needed reality check," Older Buggy finishes dryly. “Hence, Impel Down, and why we hate Garp even more than we did before.”

Roger inhales slowly, holds his breath for a few seconds, then releases it slowly, repeating the motion a few times until he feels like he’s not going to track Garp down right this minute.

“Eh, at least this time I was hunted down for something I had  _ actually _ done,” Buggy shrugs, trying to make light of what had happened. “That was a nice change.”

* * *

Aaaaand just like that, Roger’s calm is gone again. Is the kid trying to give him a heart attack?

Older Buggy seems to realise what he has just said, and groans, burying his face in Roger’s side.

“Any chance you can forget what I just said?”

“Not a single one,” Roger grits his teeth.

Older Buggy sighs, raising his head to look at Older Shanks over Roger’s shoulder. Whatever he sees in his friend’s gaze must be enough, because he sighs.

“Can we talk about this somewhere else? With less little ears listening?”

Younger Buggy puffs up in outrage, Younger Shanks doing the same next to him, but their older selves don’t falter.

“Trust me brats, if we can manage it? You will  _ never _ know what happened, and you’ll be much happier for it,” Older Buggy says, and he sounds… tired. “We would rather not know it either, but we didn’t get a choice on the matter.”

“Let us do this,” Older Shanks adds. “If we can spare you even an  _ inch _ of what happened to us, we will.”

The two teens look hesitant, looking from their counterparts to Roger and back again, and Roger decides to step in.

“We can talk in my cabin,” he says calmly, reluctantly releasing his embrace. “Rayleigh, keep an eye on these two, make sure they don’t try to sneak back in to eavesdrop.”

Which has the added effect of not allowing  _ Rayleigh _ to eavesdrop, which his first mate is quick to realise from the glare he sends in his direction.

“Captain!”

Roger waves him away. “I don’t need a bodyguard to talk to my own nakama on my own ship, Ray. Stop being such a mother hen!”

Rayleigh sputters behind him, and Roger laughs as he leads the way to his cabin, his two adult brats falling in step behind him.

He keeps his haki active as he ushers them into his cabin, closing the door behind him. His nakama  _ are _ staying on the deck, but none of them feel happy about it. He’s definitely going to get an earful about it at some point.

Only Oden feels more thoughtful than annoyed, and Roger would guess that it has to do with Toki’s Devil Fruit. He’s more familiar with the implications of time-travel than the rest of the crew, even if Toki’s powers only allow her to go  _ forward _ in time, not  _ back. _

Something to keep in mind if Laugh Tale doesn’t offer a miraculous solution, Roger thinks, and then his thoughts are interrupted by Shanks and Buggy glomping him, again.

And, well. His questions can wait.

Hugging them back takes precedence over  _ everything. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :D
> 
> Let me know what you thought of it!
> 
> Next up (whenever I manage to write it): Some important conversations are had, some tears are shed, a lot of feels, more Hugs!
> 
> And special thanks to the rest of the Discord people: you are enablers and I adore you for it
> 
> [I have a Discord now!](https://discord.gg/xreVUA2)
> 
> Feel free to join it if you want to yell at me for giving you feels about Buggy the Clown, throw headcanons around, discuss latest chapters, give me new plotbunnies (you know who you are), share your own writing or favourite fics/art, or just want a place to virtually hang out at during these trying times: you're all welcome aboard !
> 
> ALSO! Thanks to the amazing Barid, [ the main fic now has a TV Tropes Page](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/WatashitachiwaRogerkaizokudesuwestillstandproud)! Please go and check it out, and feel free to add to it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their hair is so long, he marvels. Buggy's in particular nearly comes to the bottom of his spine, and it's surprisingly soft. Roger's heard enough of Ray's complains about what the seawater does to his hair to know how hard such a thing is to achieve on the seas, and makes a mental note to ask his youngest about the products he's using. Ray's birthday is coming up, and it would make a nice (and hilarious) gift to his first mate.
> 
> But first, he has more important questions to ask.
> 
> "Are you happy?" He asks, softly, and their Voices both flare up in surprise. "The two of you, twenty-six years into the future - are you happy?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I hope you're doing okay with everything going on !
> 
> I'm finally coming back to this story (It's Nanowrimo. I'm supposed to be working on an original novel. So of course my muse decides to focus on ALL my fics instead. But the discord group is made of wonderfull enablers (knightowl, this is your fault and you know it) and so this happened xD)
> 
> Chapter warnings: FEELS (it's me, so that's a given by now), ANGST (same comment, and in much higher amounts than the previous chapter), HUGS, one very worried Gol D. Roger, BLANKET FORTS, the eternal question of 'what the hell did Portgas D Rouge see in Roger and how the hell did they get together', TEARS. 
> 
> POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: Discussion of Baterilla happens at the end of the chapter. No graphic detail, but the murder of children and pregnant women is mentioned.
> 
> As previously mentioned, this is an old WIP that isn't very active. This means that updates will be sporadic and depend on when my muse decides to cooperate - my main focus is and will remain We Still Stand Proud.

It takes them a lot longer to calm down this time, and the tears are not as quiet as they had been on the deck, his kids allowing themselves to cry more freely now that they are out of sight of the others, and what does that say about the situation in their time, that they can't afford to cry in front of their own nakama?

It makes Roger hug them even more tightly, and the lack of protest at his no doubt bone-bruising embrace is _telling._

When they finally take a step back, Roger takes one look at their tear-stained faces and decides that that's it, it's time for the big guns.

"Shanks, grab the blankets. Buggy, help me with the pillows will you? You've both grown so much the usual set-up won't fit us all."

Their usual set-up is right where the boys had left it that morning, between the bed and the wardrobe, pillows and blankets precisely arranged into a decently sized blanket fort that managed to fit all three of them comfortably. Well, for the younger versions, at least. But these two are both at least pushing two meters, and there's no way they'll fit in there, even if Buggy decides to scatter his body to try and do so.

And honestly? Roger is not ready to see his kid literally split into pieces when he's just had to reassure himself that his kid was still in one piece despite having apparently been thrown into Impel Down by Monkey D Garp - which, what the _hell?_ What had Garp been _thinking?_ Even with Shanks explanation, Roger had thought better of the man he jokingly calls his best frenemy.

The boys hesitate, obviously reluctant to destroy the familiar set up, and Roger rolls his eyes, grabbing the top blanket even as he glances around to figure out how to build a bigger version.

* * *

Ten minutes later, the boys look much better, more settled, as all three of them contemplate the result of their hard work.

It is a thing of beauty, Roger thinks proudly. His bed has been pushed back to be completely against the wall, two of his sashes tied from the headboard and footboard up to the top of the wardrobe, a blanket thrown over them to make a roof. Two other blankets over that one to make flaps and that's the outside of their fort ready. His mattress has been put on the floor between the bed and the wardrobe, and all the cushions in the room have been scattered across it. The blanket he actually sleeps under is folded neatly on the mattress, ready to be thrown over them. He knows his kids well enough to know that the one with his haki imprint will do them the most good, which is also why he makes sure they each grab one of his pillows instead of just the cushions. From the way they had both been gravitating towards them in the first place, it was a good decision on his part.

They climb into their little fort, closing the flaps behind them until the only light comes from the garland of light dials Roger had strung up between the sashes holding their roof together. In here, cut off from the rest of the world by both the blankets and the locked door of his cabin, it feels... peaceful. Good.

He's not surprised when they each sit on on one of his side - Buggy on his right, Shanks on his left, he notes, slightly surprised. He had expected Shanks to be on his right, to keep his right arm free to grab the sword that hasn't left his hip, for all that it doesn't seem to be bothering him as he sits down. But then Shanks' hand snakes behind him to grab the fabric of his shirt and stays there, and Roger bites back a soft sound as one of Buggy's hands does the exact same thing on his right.

Oh.

His kids trust him, still, he realises. Trust him to stand between them and whatever might try to hurt them, between them and any enemy that might try to attack them. Trust him enough to allow themselves to be ever so slightly vulnerable, and that trust, coming from those grown up versions of his boys, who have so obviously gone through hell and back since the last time they came up to his waist, floors him.

He raises his arms and then brings them down around their shoulders as they both instinctively burrow into his sides, just like their younger selves had done just the previous night. His hands move up a bit, just enough to gently ruffle their hair, then he leaves them on top of their heads, gently carding through the crimson and saphire strands.

Their hair is so _long,_ he marvels. Buggy's in particular nearly comes to the bottom of his spine, and it's surprisingly soft. Roger's heard enough of Ray's complains about what the seawater does to his hair to know how hard such a thing is to achieve on the seas, and makes a mental note to ask his youngest about the products he's using. Ray's birthday is coming up, and it would make a nice (and hilarious) gift to his first mate.

But first, he has more important questions to ask.

"Are you happy?" He asks, softly, and their Voices both flare up in surprise. "The two of you, twenty-six years into the future - are you happy?"

" _That's_ what you want to know first?" Buggy whisper-yells, though there's a watery tone to his voice. "If we're _happy?_ You don't want to know about what happened to everyone, about the stuff we mentioned earlier?"

"Of course I do," Roger replies calmly, running his fingers through Buggy's hair in a soothing manner. "But those questions can wait. You're my kids. _Of course_ the first thing I want to know is if you're happy."

"Your kids, hu?" Shanks asks, and his voice is watery too, though Roger can't see his face from where the redhead has buried it into Roger's side, and there's joy and surprise and longing in his Voice and what-

"Of course you're my kids!" Roger repeats, voice louder this time. "You know that, right? Just because we don't share the same blood doesn't make you any less mine!"

They _had_ to know that, right?

"You've been mine ever since you two rascals tried to pickpocket me in that alley and then followed me to the Oro Jackson, brats. No take-backs now!"

"We didn't _try_ , we _did_ pickpocket you!" Buggy protests. "And you _dragged us to the Oro Jackson_ , we didn't _follow_ you!"

"Semantics," Roger waves his arguments away. "But seriously, kids. You do know that you're my kids in all but blood, right?"

"It's nice to hear you say it," Shanks says, quietly, too quietly, after too long of a pause. "I mean we... we hoped but..."

Fuck. Had he truly never said those words out loud? Had he truly been so convinced that they _had_ to know that he hadn't thought it necessary to spell it out? He drags them closer to him.

"Well, you are," he huffs, slightly awkward and cursing himself for his oversight. "You're my kids and I love you and I'm so fucking proud of you I could _burst,_ brats. And you better remember that."

He doesn't mention how his shirt is growing two wet spots on each side, just wraps his Haki around his boys, trying to reinforce his words with it. It's odd, not relying solely on his Haki to convey what he wants to say, but... Clearly the message hadn't been going through that way. If he needs to use his words, to spell out things to get his boys to understand that they're his, to understand just how much he _cares,_ then he will.

"Better tell little-us that as well," Buggy whispers. "It's... it would have helped, knowing for sure. After... After."

After he'd died, Roger thinks, and then pushes the thought away.

"So, tell me boys," he says softly. "Shanks the Yonkou and Buggy who heads a network of pirates and has a lion as his nakama - are you _happy?"_

Buggy hesitates, Voice churning.

"I... things could be better, of course, and I _miss you,_ but... I have my crew and I have Shanks and we're alive and well despite the world trying to stop us at every corner and..." he pauses again, and when he speaks again, his voice is full of disbelief and realisation. "Yeah. I am."

"Same here," Shanks states, voice steadier, surer. "Yeah, things still suck sometimes but... I have my people, and my ship, and those I love. Luffy just got crowned Pirate King and I was there to see it happen, with Buggy at my side. Yes. I am happy."

"Good."

Roger hugs them tighter, lets them bury their faces in his shirt again and hide from the world a bit more even as relief burst through his very being. His kids are _happy._ Yes, there are clearly things that they are still dealing with, things that hurt them a long time ago and are still hurting them now (his death among them, and he _hates_ that he's hurt them so), but despite that they are _strong,_ they are _alive_ and, most of all, they are _happy._ That's all he's ever wanted for them, for these two boys that have become his in all the ways that matter: for them to be _happy_.

He lets them rest against him for a long, long time before his earlier worries catch up with him again, before he can no longer contain his own need for answers.

"Alright," he says softly. "Now, tell me boys: what the _hell_ happened to you and who do I need to kill for hurting you? And what in the seven seas happened to the rest of the crew? Because I saw the ways you reacted to them, kids."

* * *

It's obvious that the boys don't want to tell him, for all that they were arguing earlier about making sure that their past wouldn't repeat itself.

There's a sort of silence conversation between the two of them, something inaudible that speaks volumes of the closeness that still exists between them, and then Shanks sighs.

"I don't even know where to begin," he admits, and he sounds _exhausted._

"Oh, I know," Buggy interjects, righting himself a bit so he can actually look Roger in the eyes. "Captain, how the _hell_ did you manage to score with Blackjack D. Rouge?"

* * *

W

H

A

T

????

* * *

Roger's mind goes _blank._ What the hell kind of question is _that?_ Rouge punched him overboard the last time they saw each other!

Buggy must read the confusion on his face because his youngest swears. "Damn it! Foiled again!"

On his other side, Shanks breaks into laughter, shaking so hard he actually half-collapses on Roger's lap while he sputters in confusion and shock.

"I can't believe you asked _that,_ " Shanks _howls_ with laughter. "I can't believe you actually did that!"

"Look, we've been trying to figure that out for what, 8 years now? Thereabouts? Yadomaru had no clue either until we told her about it! There was no way I was going to miss my chance to ask Captain about it!"

"Well, you asked too early apparently," Shanks snorts as he tries to straighten himself, only to have another attack of the giggles and fully collapsing on Roger's lap. "Looks like we're gonna have to wait until it's our time to board the Flying Dutchman to find the answer to that question!"

"Urgh!" Buggy complains, and Roger would protest the fact that they're clearly laughing at him, but...

They're laughing. They're laughing, and Roger is so, so glad to see them so happy that he doesn't have the heart to stop them.

"Alright, alright," he grouses after a while. "Stop making fun of me now, and tell me why you think I managed to get Rouge to give me the time of the day!"

He wants to know damn it! He'd fallen in love with Rouge the very first time he'd seen her, but she had always made it clear she wasn't interested - not that he'd pressed her once she'd said that, he knows better and she would have kicked his ass if she had been bothered by the lighthearted flirty banter they had going on. 

That seems to bring the mood down again, and Roger feels guilty for it for a couple of moments, but this is _important._ This is about what his sons went through, without him by their side to protect him. Yes, he's curious about his apparent relationship with Rouge, but more importantly he wants to know about _them._

It's Shanks who starts the tale, haltingly and slowly, with Buggy butting in every so often to add some details. They tell him about their return to the New World, about the world giving him the title of Pirate King, about the number of challenges they go through.

They tell him, hesitantly, of how his illness had taken a turn for the worse, how Crocus had struggled to try and find a cure. They tell him of how he had thrown himself into fight after fight, never stopping for more than a couple of days, and the toll it had taken on all of them.

It's Buggy who breaks his heart, eyes locked on the blanket wall, not looking anywhere near him.

"You wanted to die, Captain," he tells him, voice eerily quiet, barely audible. "You knew Davy Jones was tailing you and you were trying to meet him halfway, because you didn't want to die in your bed, because you wanted to go out in a burst of glory. You never said it out loud, and none of the others would admit it... but we all knew it."

And it breaks his heart, it really does, because...

They're not wrong. Roger is still struggling with it himself, but he has known since the very moment he was diagnosed that he was never going to go quietly into the good night. But to hear that he had nearly dragged the rest of them down with him, that his kids had _known_ he was choosing to court Davy Jones rather than spend his remaining time with them...

He'd never wanted to hurt them, and yet he can feel how much he did.

It's Shanks who tells him about their last battle together, how he and Buggy had nearly died and how it had been something of a wake-up call for him. How he had gathered the crew a couple of days later and told them he was leaving, that he would be back in two years - two years, what little time he'd had left according to Crocus' estimation. How he had given Shanks his hat and Buggy some of his knives and had left without a backwards glance, telling them he had something he still needed to do. How he had disappeared and no one had heard anything from him for two long years, how Oden had asked to be dropped off in Wano shortly afterwards, leaving the crew two members short.

"And when we heard from you again, it was two years later in a special edition of the paper announcing your execution in Loguetown. You had supposedly been captured by Monkey Fucking D Garp, and you were going to be executed. We were on the way back from Water 7, had just gotten the Oro checked so she would be in peak condition when you came back, and we arrive in Sabaody to find Rayleigh drunk as fuck, saying you had stopped by to say goodbye and then throwing the paper in our face," Shanks continues.

"Rayleigh is the only one you said goodbye to, Captain," Buggy says, and his voices, both of them, are dead inside. "We rushed to Loguetown but only got there in time to hear your last speech and see your head hit the ground, and _you didn't let us save you._ You didn't let us say _goodbye_ and I've never forgiven you for that."

Roger tightens his grip on them, feels their shoulders shake under his hands as their tears wet his shirt again, and he curses himself, or his future self, for the pain he's caused them. Why wouldn't he tell them goodbye? Why wouldn't he-

He hugs them, as tightly as he can, and holds them as they sob, because he doesn't know what else to do. Doesn't know what his future self had been thinking, can't give them an explanation for what he hadn't done, but he can hold them and comfort them so that's what he does. Seas and Davy Jones, he wouldn't forgive himself for that either, for not giving his kids closure. How had he gone to his death without holding them close one last time? How had he not wanted to see them one last time, see how much they had grown during those two years? How? _Why?_

It's striking, too, how different they are now, when they cry.

Their younger selves are _loud_ , sniffling and sobbing and bawling while they cling to him after a nightmare or a bad fight, and he's never shamed them for it, always encouraged to express their emotions to the fullest instead of repressing them.

But these two? The adult versions of his _sons -_ and they _are_ his sons in all but blood, and he will make sure they know it and never forget it, both versions - are _silent_ when they cry. Buggy even more than Shanks. Their chests are heaving and the tears are flowing freely, but they are _quiet._ Their Voices very much aren't, and the grief and pain and hurt and _anger_ there is _loud_ and deservedly so, Seas know he deserve worse than a couple of punches, but the fact that his boys have learned how to cry _silently_ is worrying. And makes him want to kill someone. He settles for holding them close instead, because they need him more than he needs to inflict gratuitous levels of violence upon well-deserving assholes, but that doesn't mean the urge isn't there.

Somehow, he doesn't think the rest of their tale will help with that.

(Roger is right. It really, really doesn't,)

* * *

It's Shanks who takes over their tale, once his tears have dried up a bit, while Buggy just clings tightly to Roger and avoids looking at either of them.

"We left Loguetown while everyone was _celebrating_ ," Shanks spits the word out like it's poison. "And snuck back to the island where we had left Rayleigh and the Oro. We gave you as good a funeral as we could, but... the Marines took your body away, and we never found out what they did to it, not for lack of trying. But we tried our best despite that."

He pauses, takes a deep breathe. "Rayleigh ordered us back to the New World, had us stop every so often to meet up with our allies and friends to tell them of your death in the proper ways. And then, once we left our last stop, he announced that the crew was disbanded and asked who wanted to be dropped off where."

Roger winces, but he had expected that from the very moment he had been told of the way he died.

He loves Rayleigh, will never regret choosing him as his first mate, but his friend has already made it clear that he wouldn't become Captain after his death, that he wouldn't be able to go on without him. It made sense for him to disband the crew, and given the circumstances...

"Splitting up to confuse the trails and have better chances of sailing under the radar?" He asks, and Shanks reluctantly nods.

"Not that any of them bothered to explain that to us back then," Buggy mutters, still steadfastedly not looking at him. "We were still in shock and reeling from your execution and suddenly people are being dropped off left and right with barely a goodbye and no explanation."

Roger grimaces. Fuck, it sounds like his crew dropped the ball there, not noticing that their youngest were still grieving and confused in their haste to get things figured out. But Rayleigh must have taken the time to explain everything once they were all safe, right? His old friend would have made sure that the boys knew the others hadn't just abandonned them-

Shanks hesistates, then speaks up again. "Please keep in mind that the versions of them on this ship haven't yet done what the ones we remember have done, Captain - and you as well, Bug."

The fact that Shanks feels it necessary to give a warning, Buggy's animosity towards Crocus earlier - Roger braces himself for the worst.

"Fucker still shouldn't have ruined the moment," Buggy snarls contemptuously.

Shanks closes his eyes as if pained. "No," he says softly. "He shouldn't have."

Another breath.

"Rayleigh, Crocus and Rush were the last ones on the ship with us when we stopped at Highoakes." Another pause, and fuck Roger really isn't going to like what follows, isn't he? "They told us to grab our things, get off the ship and go to ground. And then, as soon as our feet touched the docks, they turned the Oro around and _left."_

* * *

It takes all of Roger's control not to let his Conqueror flare all over the ship, dropping every being on it unconscious, but he manages to reign it in. _Barely._

* * *

"They _what."_

This couldn't be true. Rayleigh wouldn't have done that, Crocus wouldn't- Rush would have stayed with the Oro, of course, but the other two would have stuck with the boys, right? The kids would have been what, fourteen at the most? There's no way his nakama would have left them on their own right after losing him, _right?_

He's pretty sure his eyes are shining silver right now, and he's clutching the boys so tightly to him that they'll end up _bruised_ and fuck, here he goes again, hurting his kids when he just wants to protect them, but he can't bring himself to let go and they don't try to make him and he needs to feel them underneath his fingers, needs to feel them _alive_ and _breathing_ despite the fact that they had been _abandonned_ by the very people who should have taken care of them and fuck but Shanks is right they haven't done it yet but the thing is, Roger can _see_ that they might have, now that he's actually _looking_ instead of just expecting them to take care of the kids. Can see how his death might send them spiralling and why they might think it a better idea for the kids to go off on their own to draw less attention but-

They were _children._ Children he had _entrusted in their care!_

"They dropped us on Highoakes with our bags and a share of the funds and told us to keep our heads low and stay alive." Buggy's voice sounds _dead._ "And then they left."

He lets out a dark, sad little chuckle that sounds nothing humourous at all. "Not two hours after they left, that asshole Tavernier stumbled upon us and decided that since you weren't available anymore for him to avenge Shiki, we would do nicely."

It's probably a minor _miracle_ that Roger's Haki doesn't flare at all during Buggy's tirade. Tavernier. Tavernier, one of Shiki's strongest and most loyal admiral during the Edd War, the very war his youngest had _begged_ him not to take part in and Roger hadn't listened, and his kids had nearly died in return. And Tavernier had fucking decided to hunt down his kids because of _him?_ Roger will _never_ forgive himself for this.

He wants to interrupt, to ask questions but... he knows that tone of voice. Buggy started speaking and now he needs to continue until he's done, won't take any interruptions because this is something that has been locked thightly within him for much too long and can't be put back behind a dam anymore.

"We stole a small ship, Speed, and we _ran._ We ran and we ran and we ran and we fought when we couldn't run and somehow survived and ran again and again and again and again, and they never stopped, not Tavernier, not the Marines, not any of your former enemies who had all decided that we would bear their anger since you weren't there to do so anymore. Speed manifested less than two months in, saved our hides during a bad storm during which Tavernier and his men tried to corner us. We nearly died, again and again and again and Shanks got an infection so bad I thought he was going to _die_ or at least lose his leg and we didn't know where to go, couldn't afford to stop anywhere for longer than a few days before _someone_ spotted us and the hunt started all over again and if it wasn't for Speed we wouldn't have made it three months, nevermind _two years_ on our own without help."

"The others-" Roger can't help to start, hoping that his nakama had _at least_ given the boys a way to call for help, something, _anything,_ but Buggy steamrolls him.

"Left us no vivre card, no denden number, no denden mushi, _nothing_ , and they left us on the wrong side of the Grand Line for us to try and contact any of the ones we might know where to find - Crocus at his stupid lighthouse, Rush in Water 7, Rayleigh at Shakky's bar - and by the time we made it back to Paradise we didn't dare try and contact them because we might lead enemies right to their door, and well they hadn't even tried to help us before, so why would they help now?"

Seas, that his boys had ended up in such a situation, that they couldn't trust their own nakama to help them- Roger tries to remember that his nakama haven't done something that monumentally _stupid_ yet, that there's time to put safeguards in place for the boys, to ensure that they will never have to go through what their older selves did, but his fury is boiling in his veins. He tries to tamp it down, because Buggy has oversensitive Haki and Roger doesn't want to hurt him, or have him think that he's angry at _him,_ because Roger is _not,_ he's angry at the _world_ and at his nakama from three years in the future who had fucking abandonned the children who had grown up on his ship- "

It'd had been over a year and a half since your death and we somehow ended up in South Blue and there was a rumour that you'd had a _child_ there," A _child?_ What? When? How? Probably during these two years he apparently went off on his own, but... who? _Rouge?_ Is that why the boys were asking about her? Did he have a kid with _Blackjack D. Rouge?_ How? How the hell did he manage to get her to agree to go out with him- "and the Marines were on the hunt again and _fucking Baterilla happened-_ "

As the name of an island Roger vaguely remembers being somewhere in South Blue passes his lips, Buggy lets out a keening sound, his fingers going to his hair, grabbing the blue strands and tugging at them angrily, clearly gone non-verbal, and Shanks jumps in in his stead seamlessly even as Roger feels a tendril of Shanks' own Conqueror wrap around Buggy like a comforting blanket.

"The marines were scouring South Blue looking for any sign of a possible child of Gol D Roger," Shanks takes up the tale with a detached voice even as his hand tightens around Roger's cloak. "They focused on the island of Baterilla, rounding up every pregnant woman, every child under the age of three, and..." He gulps, and Roger's fingers grip their shoulders tighter.

"They killed every single one of them," Shanks whispers brokenly, and Roger can't _breathe_ . "Two hundred seventy eight children under the age of three - one hundred fifty six little girls, one hundred twenty two little boys, some of them just hours old. Three hundred forty two pregnant women and at least that many unborn children, as some of them had been pregnant with twins or triplets. That’s how many innocent people died under Marines hands on the Island of Baterilla. That’s without counting the damage done to their remaining families, the children who grew up without their mothers or siblings, the spouses left grieving, the relatives who lost a member of their families. All because the Marines were so fucking _terrified_ of you that even your death didn't offer them any comfort."

Roger's chest is painfully tight as he swallows heavily, focuses on breathing until the black spots in his vision disappear, even as the words ring hollow in his head.

An entire island's worth of women and children, dead. Dead because of _him,_ dead because of a rumour that he might have had a child with someone there, and the marines had decided that that risk was unacceptable and had ressorted to measures just shy of a Buster Call to get rid of that possibility, slim as it might have been.

"We counted them," Shanks swallows. " The graves. We tried to get there as fast as we could, tried to get people out, but we got there too late, too late to save anyone but not too late to bury some of them, and the people there weren't in any state to dig the graves so we did, we dug and dug and dug, too small graves for too small coffins for too small bodies and we _counted them._ "

His oldest boy breaks down as well at that, hiding his face in Roger's side again as heavy sobs wrack his back.

"We tried," he repeats like a broken Tone Dial. "We tried so hard but it wasn't good enough and they were so _small_ Captain, so small and so _still_ and they weren't breathing-"

Roger kind of wants to join him in the sobbing, but the boys are counting on him to be their anchor and he can't let them down, not when his future self had already let them down _so much._

"We had to leave after a week," Buggy sniffles. "Some of the marines came back to make sure the survivors wouldn't spread the word about what happened, the official cover story involved some low level pirates sacking the island, but... The island, the people, they never forgot. And neither did we. An entire generation, lost in the span of two months. They had to make a new graveyard for them, there wasn't enough space left in the old one, and they ran out of stone less than half-way through so the others only had wooden slabs instead and-"

"And then we ran again, again and again and again," Shanks takes over. "Tavernier found us again and pursued us relentlessly into the New World again, and then he chased us into a freak storm and-" He chokes on his words.

"And then I hear a shout and I turned around and Buggy _wasn't there."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :D
> 
> Let me know what you thought of it!
> 
> Next up (whenever I manage to write it): The Tale continues. More hugs. More Tears. Maybe some Oden feels, who knows? Certainly not me
> 
> And special thanks to the rest of the Discord people: you are enablers and I adore you for it
> 
> [I have a Discord now!](https://discord.gg/xreVUA2)
> 
> Feel free to join it if you want to yell at me for giving you feels about Buggy the Clown, throw headcanons around, discuss latest chapters, give me new plotbunnies (you know who you are), share your own writing or favourite fics/art, or just want a place to virtually hang out at during these trying times: you're all welcome aboard !
> 
> ALSO! Thanks to the amazing Barid, [ the main fic now has a TV Tropes Page](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/WatashitachiwaRogerkaizokudesuwestillstandproud)! Please go and check it out, and feel free to add to it!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it :D
> 
> Let me know what you thought of it!
> 
> Next up (whenever I manage to write it): Some important conversations are had, some tears are shed, a lot of feels, more Hugs!
> 
> And special thanks to the rest of the Discord people: you are enablers and I adore you for it
> 
> [I have a Discord now!](https://discord.gg/xreVUA2)
> 
> Feel free to join it if you want to yell at me for giving you feels about Buggy the Clown, throw headcanons around, discuss latest chapters, give me new plotbunnies (you know who you are), share your own writing or favourite fics/art, or just want a place to virtually hang out at during these trying times: you're all welcome aboard !
> 
> ALSO! Thanks to the amazing Barid, [ the main fic now has a TV Tropes Page](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/WatashitachiwaRogerkaizokudesuwestillstandproud)! Please go and check it out, and feel free to add to it!


End file.
